Twin pregnancy – a special moment in time

Flashback Friday time! I’m joining in with Karin’s link up over at Cafe Bebe with this post

EVERYONE knows I am a twin mum because it’s all I talk about! Day in day out. I love it, I wouldn’t have it any other way and I count myself incredibly lucky after years of Trying To Conceive when the big 4-0 had already come and gone – no mean feat in itself but to find out we were expecting twins was possibly one of the most magical moments in my life and one I shall never forget.

So forgive me if I indulge now as this weekend, on Sunday to be exact, the girls will be three which makes this time 3 years ago I looked like this

Photo removed until I get a better one!

Did I hear you groan? Yes, you’re right it’s massively courageous of me to post a nude photo of myself, it’s not quite Demi Moore (damn lighting problems and you can’t get the make up artists these days) but I have checked and rechecked and I can’t see any naughty bits. I see a massive bump and my eyes giving away the strain my body was under during those last few weeks as I waited for a due date that never seemed any closer.

scan of twinsOn my 37 week visit to the consultant I had a melt down, I told her I really didn’t think I could go one day further. I wasn’t exaggerating. I was exhausted, my legs were swollen all the time, I had heartburn, I couldn’t sleep properly and overall I’d had enough and it’s never good when I’ve had enough of something as I want it OVER and NOW.

She listened, intelligent woman that Mrs Singh, and she booked me in for an induction the following week but she said I was more likely to come in naturally beforehand as she couldn’t see me making it that far.

You wanna bet?

Two days of induction, three pessaries later I was in the delivery room having all the right contractions but do you think these two had any intention of joining us? Hell no, they were tucked up so high inside neither of them could descend towards the birth canal.

C-section was declared and in a whir of organisation I was trollied off to the operation theatre and the girls came into the world whether they liked it or not. Daddy almost feinted at the thought of me being cut open and hid behind the sheet acting as a barrier with me but I’m not allowed to tell anyone and he will deny it till the cows come home so don’t bother asking him – got it?

On retrospect, because it’s so easy to look back, I wish I had waited for a natural delivery to occur on it’s own. They were both head down, I’d have had an audience of about 30 people as I gave birth, quite the norm with twin births – it could have been my claim to fame! But jokes aside I wouldn’t have had to stay in hospital with drips, and wounds and major abdominal surgery to contend with.

I have found my pregnancy diary and started to work on it, I hope to be posting it for free download as soon as possible but lets get the girls 3rd birthday party over and done with first and to start with I’m going to have to cancel their Peppa Pig bouncy castle as we’re forecast torrential-all-day-non-stop-big rain tomorrow. :(

First hold of my twins

You’re expecting twins!

My tears had halted momentarily, had I heard right? Was she saying that to me? I looked over at Paul who was still holding my hand as tightly, I could see the excitement, disbelief, incredulity under his skin, his face was twitching ever so slightly and he looked as if he was about to boil over with joy.

*****

As I lay down on the bed and lifted my top exposing my bare tummy to the scanologist (sorry can’t think of the right name for the lady scanner!) I went into panic mode. I was 8 weeks pregnant and the last two times I had reached this stage I had then discovered they were blighted ovums, where the baby had never formed in the sac or had been reabsorbed early on and therefore ending in miscarriage. I was shaking, in my heart I knew this was our last attempt. There was no way I could keep on putting myself through the agony of  joy-hope-failure. The scanning room for me held bad memories and I wasn’t feeling comfortable. In a desperate attempt to reassure myself, I surrepstitiously squeezed my boobs ‘Ouch!’ Good they were still painful and that meant pregnancy hormones were still in my body. I told the woman my history, a devastating loss at 5 months when we lost our little girl followed by two blighted ovums.

‘Thank you for telling me that.’ I’m sure I detected an Australian accent and then the room fell silent as she started to move the contraption over the gel on my tummy, the air heavy around me with suspense. Paul’s breathing was faster and our hands were held in a tight grip. I couldn’t bare him to go through the disappointment again and I was alreadystarting to feel a failure, my heart bomb diving into a black abyss. May Day! May Day!

I watched the lady looking intent at the screen moving the scan back and forth across my midriff. My bad voice piped up matter of factly ‘Nothing there again.’ and the tears started. Very slowly, very silently and I gripped Paul’s hand even harder trying desperately to make everything ok and hold on to positivity.

‘I’m so sorry to keep you waiting,’ she said. ‘I was just checking there aren’t three in there!’

‘Three?’ (I know! I’m so slow to get stuff – it had never dawned on me that I could possibly be a mother of twins even if Paul is a twin, I’d only ever asked for one!)

‘Yes!’ she exclaimed gleefully, relieved herself that her news was so good for us.’You’re expecting twins.’

‘How are their heartbeats?’ I immediately went into concerned mode wanting to cross all the T’s and dot the i’s.

‘Wonderfully strong heartbeats.’ Everything looks to be absolutely perfect.’

‘Can’t be!’ – that was the bad voice picking up again trying to ruin the moment but I was so shocked and utterly stunned I took no notice of it for once focusing on the good TWO WONDERFULLY STRONG HEARTBEATS. More tears fell but this time they were warm and tears of joy, the lady handed me some paper to wipe away the gel put I couldn’t care less about the gel I was pregnant and what’s more I was expecting twins, Paul took the paper and cleaned my tummy for me as we waited for the print out and our photos.

She gave us more photos than she should have done for our £4.00, I imagine she was very relieved to have been able to pass on our wonderful news and felt generous, after all who would find out her crime? I certainly wouldn’t have told a soul and these images I treasured for the following 8 months whilst I waited in angst until my beautiful little girls entered the world safe and sound.

This is my Flashback Friday for this week inspired very much by Karin at Cafe Bebe who is expecting and asked when I first found out I was expecting twins. Many women in pregnancy often get a thought ‘Maybe it’s twins?’ during the first months until the first scan can verify who and how many are inside. That thought comes from no where. Thrown at you casually from the universe to leave you wondering for weeks. I did get one of those thoughts but I was so anxious and so focused on just having ONE healthy baby I ignored it and let it go so it was a massive surprise that day to be told. In fact that day we both walked around stunned. Even the following few nights I would wake in the early hours and just ask Two? and reply Two! and fall back to sleep again in disbelief.

I kept a dairy throughout that pregnancy it was an online diary which also talks of many other things happening in my life during that period (teenage daughter living at home anyone?) I’m currently going through it and making it readable and focusing on the twin pregnancy and then I will post it for any other pregnant mum who may want to read it.

Now head over and see all the other Flashbacks over at Cafe Bebe

Twin pregnancy books

twin pregnancy 8 weeks

One of the most exciting parts of being pregnant is following the growth of your babies and watching your belly swell.

One of the most worrying parts of being pregnant is the fact that it’s an entirely new ball game and a twin pregnancy is different still from a singleton pregnancy with it’s own worries and problems to solve.

That’s where books can help, especially books written by Mums who have had twin pregnancies. I found reading them helped settle many queries that my midwife couldn’t answer and they became great sources of information for me. Here are my favourites that I would recommend

Twin Pregnancy books

  1. Twins! Pregnancy, birth and the first year of life.
  2. Everything you need to know to have a healthy twin pregnancy
  3. Twins and multiple births. The Essential Parenting Guide from Pregnancy to Adulthood. TAMBA endorsed
  4. Double Trouble. Twins and how to survive them

Good luck!

newborn twins