On waking this morning I could remember my dream so clearly as if I had stepped out of one world into the other just a moment before my cue. I had spent the best part of that particular dream clearing up my ex’s house, (as if I haven’t got enough clearing up to do all waking hours here!) When he’s in my dreams it always surprises me. I mean we are so over and have both moved on that it’s perturbing to say the least.
Sometimes when he’s in my dreams there is a fine line of truth and later in real life I will see an aspect of that particular dream ‘come true’, this has happened on more than the odd occasion so of course that’s why I’m jumping back to reality in such a hurry so it’s all fresh in my mind and I can file it away in that shaky, not to be completely trusted memory box, just like my lottery numbers I dreamt a while back. (I have sooo got the winning numbers!)
Anyway, in last night’s particular dream I was very satisfied. I was tidying up his house and finding her clothes all over the place, some neat and tidy, ironed and folded in drawers and a pair of very nice jeans I must say, probably designer and paid for by him scattered on the floor inside out ‘alla teenager’ well after all she’s half my age.
Well I chucked her stuff straight in a charity bag, very satisfied with myself, I shoved her very nice designer jeans in a place where she won’t find them and if she does they will be ruined beyond wear. All in all a very satisfactory dream, I had got an incy, wincy, teeny, weeny bit of my own back.
Back to reality my first question is Why? Why on earth dream of him and her? It gets right on my nerves every time, the pain of our separation died away years ago – so why?
Could it be a message that they’re close to splitting up? That would be a Godsend, trust me!
You see a mere 20 something at the time, she was probably selfishly unaware of the dramatic consequences that would ensue from thrusting her barely covered breasts into my then husband’s face non stop. After all it was a game for her, she was trying to test out her seductive powers and By Jove they worked! Within a year of their first flirts we were history, Thomas, Megan and I rallied together to overcome what was to be one of the most difficult parts of our life story yet to overcome.
Thomas, 16 and Megan then 14.
That’s the bit that breaks my heart most. At a time when they needed stability, when they were going through their own changes Sabrina sent it all tits up, literally and I can never forgive her that. I won’t. I would rather combat future karma with her than say ‘No that’s ok, you completely shat on our lives and I’ll forgive you because you were a young, selfish cow who never once stopped to think of the consequences of your actions.’
So it’s not surprising that I shipped her stuff off to charity last night thanking the Dear Lord that she was out of our lives forever.
At the time of our separation I was devastated and most of my anger was obviously towards him for being such an incredible idiot and then her, for wrecking my home. I cannot go further without pointing out our relationship was dire indeed, quite a farce by then but we had got back together ‘for the children’s sake’ and that was now irrepairably destroyed. My friends would comfort me and say, ‘You can’t blame her, it’s his doing.’ which drove me mad, I wanted to put my hands around her sweet neck and shake it till she was blue in the face so great was my anger.
We split, I moved back, I got a life of my own – one which I treasure with every fibre in my body – and I left it all alone. I, well done Mari, moved on completely, 100%. And then it came to me as to why I had been so angry with her and why Mistresses must take account of their actions and not get off so lightly all the time.
After all – They Have a Choice too
She worked for us, in the wine bar of our hotel working very closely with Enrico. She saw me day in day out as I popped in for a chat or even help out with the waitressing in very busy moments (I bet that threw her!) She knew Thomas and Megan, knew how old they were, spoke to them on a regular basis, laughed with them, chatted with them, even jokingly flirted with my Tommy – you can imagine the effect that had on my strapping young hormonal 16 year old! Nuff said.
So, no. I will not be one tiny bit upset if I hear they have split up tomorrow. I will gladly help chuck all of her stuff out of the window like the bad apple she is and send her packing as is long overdue.
Chats with Megan in the past few years have revealed that she was a tremendous bitch in my home. The very least she could have done was to ensure my children, the fall out of her choice, were looked after. She didn’t and for that, I have unfinished business with her, in this life or the next. When the opportunity arises.