For the first time, in the longest time, I feel compelled to write. To write about me and what’s going on in my life, as this morning I have woken with a feeling of stepping into a new chapter. It feels like I’m stepping over the threshold into another important phase in my life and I feel the need to document these feelings and thoughts so I can come back to them in years to come.
I have done this a few times throughout my life, the biggest time being when I left Italy for good back in August 2004. I remember hugging my BFF with the knowledge I wouldn’t be popping around for a coffee whenever I fancied. No more aperitivo after work, lunches on the ski slopes, going for a pizza together or trying out the new restaurants and sharing a bottle (or two) of good Trentino wine. I still miss her today.
But that’s just it, when you have these life changing moments in your life, where the axel of your world shifts there will always be parts you miss, bits you don’t like and an underlying sense of, ‘Can I make this work? Am I doing the right thing?’
Ever since I left Italy I have missed my children, Thomas and Megan. At the time they were in their teens and had no inclination to leave the life they had always known for Britain to stay with me. It’s not the age you, the parent, pulls the shots so I had to begrudgingly accept their decision and work it out to the best of my capabilities.
I mentioned about the changes in Mari’s World a while back, and today the final pieces of the jigsaw are going to fall into place. Only then will we start to discover if this is such a great idea we all thought it was during the initial chats back in July.
As I write, Oana, Evan and Sophie are heading towards their aeroplane in Bucharest (which I really hope to visit one day – in case the universe is listening). Thomas has been here since the end of August, working in London and settling in to his new life, and I have been changing rooms around, emptying cupboards of crap I have been hoarding forever and making room for him and his family to join us, for an undefined period of time.
Until they get on their feet.
Until they are capable of running their own home.
Once the children are settled in their schools.
Once Thomas has proved his worth and gets his promised promotion to a larger wage packet.
I count myself very lucky we have the room to bring them into our lives comfortably, without too much disruption but there will be disruption and we’ll have to tackle it all one day at a time.
We will be welcoming a preschooler who apparently doesn’t like to sleep before midnight. I’ve made her a princess bed to see if I can help coax her under the covers a bit earlier.
We will be home to a 4-going-on-five year old, a boy. A boy who loves Marvel, who wants to play loud, raucous games and likes thinking he is the Incredible Hulk.
I know this is a big responsibility, I know it is a huge challenge that will affect me, my husband, the twins and Baxter and I hope I am capable of navigating my ship sensibly and successfully through the seas that lie ahead.
I hope we can work it all out. I hope with all my heart we have the positive outcome I envisioned back in July.
Wish me luck as I embark on my next chapter and open my doors and my heart to