02 Nov 2006 – 40 and positive

CD15 today
Well still no + smiley signs on the OPK, am nearly through the box and if no sign tomorrow then will have to go and get another box.
I really must stop getting so worked up, I fell pregnant naturally without all this fuss back in March but now it just seems as if it’s such a distant goal.
DP asked to go out for drinks after work with his mates tonight and I asked him not to as these are our ‘days’. I know he doesn’t mind but I shall feel silly if it doesn’t happen this month.
I remember last month being in Italy and dreaming that I was ovulating so really don’t want to miss our chance this month.
Am beginning to question everything from CM (is that ewcm?) to temps (haven’t a clue what I’m doing here) and niggly pains which I don’t have today anyway.
I have seen somewhere that not all women can pick up their ov with the kits and I’m hoping that is my case.
Got very sad last night on coach thinking of my two in sunny Messico. I notice I’m also silently praying a lot repeatedly saying ‘Please’ – this can’t be good.
In fact, even when bding last night I was concetrating more on catching the egg that leting myself go and enjoying myself. I really must stop this and just go back to normal real me mode.
At least should AF arrive this cycle, I’ll be in Italy with the kids and my old friends. Here’s a photo of my goddaughter Alice and her sister Linda in Italy, daughters of my very good friend Cinzia – the sweetest person on the earth – not a bad bone in her body.


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