Day 4 of the getting pregnant over 40 diaries
Think of a bad word beginning with B and ending ‘ks’- that’s what I said when I dashed to the loo after just getting home last night!
AF (Aunty Flo – period) came earlier than expected which was on Sunday – I have always been like a swiss clock so it came as a surprise and got my attention. It could be something to do with my miscarriage back in July. I’ve read somewhere that each pregnancy can alter your cycle. I did try to kid myself just for a moment that it was an implantation bleed but I’ve never had one so, deep down I knew it couldn’t be.
I’d best get a new ticker sorted out. (Reference to a widget used on the Babyworld profile indicating how far you were into your pregnancy.)
The unexpected arrival did bring on thoughts of my lost baby and dragged up emotions that I could have done without.
All I want is to get pregnant as quickly as possible.
I feel that I’m running against time and I also feel as if I’m letting down my partner each month my period starts. It makes me feel guilty and at one point last night I said, ‘Maybe you should look for a younger girl?’ I didn’t mean it, I’d be devastated if we broke up. I just want to do this but am frightened it will never happen.
I thought about getting one of those fertility kits from Boots that tell you if you’ve got any eggs left, what state they are in and your chances of getting pregnant. I decided I’d leave it for a bit, after all, this is my 1st cycle of trying to get pregnant over 40. I really would have been incredibly lucky had it happened. I’m sure I’ve also read somewhere that it takes a couple of cycles to start ovulating after a miscarriage.
Anyway – enough said. At least I can have a glass of wine tomorrow at dinner and I can get back into the gym next week which got totally laid aside this week whilst I meandered around Topshop maternity, Mothercare and H&M maternity. Won’t be needing that just yet, eh?
Roll on November – let’s see if we can catch your egg!
A little later on – a second entry
So, the evening was spent with a little retail therapy – you know, to pick the spirits up and forget my period has arrived.
What did I come home with? A digital OPK (ovulation predixtor kit) for next month!
I am sat here with a glass of vino though as Paul is out with his work colleagues, good for him. I bet he won’t be going for his 7 mile run tomorrow!