Day 2 of my diary, well I’m worried (you might hear that expression a lot – lol) as I haven’t been feeling as sick as yesterday and therefore have started thinking negatively.

Having said that I’ve just finished the salad I made for my lunch and I’m feeling disgusted by it all – especially the spring onions I chopped into it that usually don’t give me any problems at all.
I would so like this to happen AND be a successful pregnancy this time round.

I did feel quite tired last night but that’s to be expected, we’re up at 6 in the morning and don’t usually get home till 6.30 /7 depending on the traffic.

Anyway, not a lot to tell from the underwear department, hardly any CM. Is this normal? I must go and find a site that will tell me all about it….what shall I Google? Cervical mucus? Urrggg! Only joking. I have www.twoweekwait.com and fertility friend among others.

How many days till Sunday? Bring it on!

Let’s start with a little bit about me, I promise to keep it short lol.

I have two wonderful children from a marriage that ended in 2003. Thomas is 18 and Megan¬†16. They live with their father in the Dolomites in Italy as when I finally gathered up the courage to leave him, they were of the age where they didn’t want to be uprooted, the adolescent thing – ‘I don’t want to leave my friends’.
So I am back and forth from Italy every 6 weeks to try and keep a strong contact with them. Does that make me sound like a VIP because I am not, it’s thanks to low-cost Ryan Air that I am able to do this.

I met my wonderful DP in 2004 when I moved in next door to him (honestly). He knocked on the door and said if I ever needed any help I only had to ask. I had my daughter Megan living with me at the time and DP and I got to know each other as friends.

Cut a long and lovely story short, we became more than friends in the October of 2004 and 1 year later we took the decision to ttc. He had said he’d always wanted to become a father and I was sure of his love and ready to have a go straight away as time, for me, was marching on.
We were lucky, I fell pregnant in March 06, the estimated delivery date was 28th Nov 06 and I passed the first 3 months of that pregnancy fantastically, we were so excited as you can imagine.

Sadly for us, it wasn’t meant to be and we lost our greatly desired little girl on 17th July 06. I was just shy of 22 weeks and devastated.
I will write about my miscarriage on a later day so as not to take too much time up here.
Anyway, we had a follow-up appointment with our consultant on the 2nd October to go through any findings as to why the pregnancy hadn’t gone full term but they can only put it down to an infection and therefore we have been given the go ahead to ttc again. Which we have been.

I am now in my first cycle of ttc, bang in the middle of the 2 week wait (2ww) and feeling dreadfully nauseous since Sunday. I am keeping my fingers crossed and the strangest thing I can tell you is, I have been convinced since my miscarriage that I would be pregnant by Christmas.
Let’s see if that’s the case.

I wish to share the worries and troubles of an over 35 ttc and going through pregnancy (hopefully)