11DPO CD 27
Every twinge tweak or movement leads me to think AF is on her way. Of course my legs and back are killing me after our mega hike around Bewl Water on Sunday which doesn’t help as I don’t know if the back pain is from that or oncoming AF!!!
Dead tired last night, fell asleep on DP watching Jungle. Before I dropped off I laughed at David Gest snoring so loud then woke myself up a bit later snoring (I must have been lying on DP in a funny position of course!)
He’s very keyed in to me at mo’ asking for all symptoms, feelings and pointing out that my belly is big (wish he wouldn’t do that) Makes me worry because he’ll be so disappointed if AF arrives.
Have big positive moments when I think ‘Of course you’re pg’ and then others when I think it’ll never happen again. Grrrr!
Sneekily read in my book that on DPO 11, egg is completely implanted and has divided into 2 cavities, one will become embryo the other his digestive track. There is already a spinal cord, the start of an umbilical cord and placenta. Amazing. fingers crossed xx
Wow K is already 9 weeks – amazing how time flies. Can’t wait to see the photos later hun!

10DPO CD 26
Of course, by now I have managed to convince myself totally that I am pg and am desperately trying to stop myself but don’t stand a chance – I can be so convincing. No symptoms though – just pure thought. Hve felt a few twinges down there and does feel like I have an iron ball indside me. Have been visualising the egg resting on my cushion (mentioned earlier on in the month) and then burrowing into my uterus. Wonder if it’ll work???
DP did think my boobs were bigger over the weekend but I don’t think so.
I just seem to believe this is my month. I always imagined K and I would have our bumps tog, I could ‘see’ myself on the beach next summer, when I mc’d I ‘knew’ I’d get pg soon.
Yeah – I know it’s not a lot to go on so check this out..
Have been awake since 1.30 this morning thanks to a really bad and vivid dream, I saw my DD with her wrists slit, (she’s 16) blood everywhere and I managed to save her just in time. As you can imagine I was shocked and very disturbed and couldn’t get back to sleep.
I keep going over the dream – is it AF on her way (blood) am I just missing my DD and want her here with me (yes, but that’s a constant so why the dream?)I keep telling myself -at least I saved her but I just feel really shaken by the whole thing and can’t wait to get there on Friday to hold her and love her.
I have had dreams in the past which have come true – many and that’s what was scaring me last night, every time I closed my eyes I got the same image and just couldn’t sleep. I am going to be so rubbish at work today.
They do say vivid dreams are part of PG so you just never know.
Weekend was good, I am very proud to say that I walked around Bewl Water Reservoir with DP yesterday (13 miles) it took us 4 hours and my legs and back are killing me. There really isn’t a lot of water in there and it’s quite frightening. I think we should all do a little rain dance!
May have already added this photo of DD and me but today I need to more than ever.
xx

/community/diaries/items/0187-131106111135.jpg

I haven’t been around for a few days as I’ve been tied up with the WTM – a big travel fair held in the Docklands. I work for the Italian Tourist Board and this is our most important fair all year. It went well and I’m totally exhausted. Just going through emails today and lying very low…
I have received my Christmas Card list from T4AB and so will be off to buy some cards at lunch and get that sorted out. If I don’t I will forget.
My office is just behind Oxford Circus and I can see Regent Street from my window, I’m looking forward to seeing the xmas lights this evening and will post a photo next week. Hamley’s looks fab and will have a look on one lunch break.
I really should be going to the gym at lunch though. I was brilliant all summer trying to lose the baby weight before starting all over again and then with last month’s ttc I stopped. I was scared it might bring on AF which came anyway! So I really should get back to that, reason being – the Italian lads who work on our WTM stand I see once a year and they’re all lovely guys, one looked over at me on Tuesday and motioning with his hand around the womb area asked me if I was pg. Now I am still a bit chunky around there and he was mortified when my colleague overhearing told him of my loss, he said his girlfriend had also suffered the same earlier this year.
I was happy as I am in the 2ww and have my fingers crossed (could it be an omen???) and sad as I really must get my backside into gear so I can wear something nice at the Crimbo parties.
What a tug of war eh?
SS is turning up nothing which is quite depressing. No sore (.)(.) CM is creamy and diminishing. I have felt the womb area ‘tighten’ a bit but that could be me. Oh and a couple of days ago I felt an uncomfortable pin pricking sensation inside which continued and I had to poke my finger in the area to relieve myself. It flashed through my mind that it might be implantation but think it was too early. It happened on 2 occasions and was more to the right side.
Photo is of DP qwhen I had my BFP back in March, I so hope to make him happy again with another BFP very soon. He would be over the moon xx

/community/diaries/items/jan-2006-099-101106120324.jpg

CD18 – DPO 2?
will post on T$AB to find out how they count DPO’s so I can be more specific.
Have a stinker of a cold, runny nose, sore throat and heavy head feeling. Am at work which is a pain but it does mean I get 2 days off in Loue/liew/loo so that’ll be nice.
Busy week at work which I am hoping will take my mind off the 2ww (fat chance!)I have already dreamt of baby which is quite scary becuase if I’m not pg I shall fall harder than last month which was a nasty bump.
Just in case only had 1 glass of wine last night and sipped it really slowly so it lasted for ages.
I keep thinking to myself – if I am pregnant this will be my last WTM (travel exhibition – work) adn that makes me very happy.
My two lovelies should be back home from Mexico today, I know Megan will want to show me her photos and I’m dreading it. The things we have to do
DP has called he’s gone for a 15 mile hike today..almost pleased I came into work! I shan’t be home till 9ish tonight and then I’ll probably be cream crackered, so roll on next weekend when we can relax together.
PS If you followed my visualization of the comfy womb the other day, I have decided to add a big bit of velcro to the ‘egg cushion’ so it sticks properly! Nice idea eh? Quite proud of myself for that.
Oh, and my brain has gone into overtime with regards to my Secret Santa – my girl has asked for a BFP (haven’t we all) so I’m rustling up some Xmas magic for her along with her pressie which I hope she likes as I do…he he he no sorry ho ho ho!
Photo of my Tommy and DP last year on the slopes. DP beginner, DS snowboarder

/community/diaries/items/jan-2006-016-051106114314.jpg

CD17
Still don’t know when to count DPO1 by the way.
Bd last night and today but am coming down with the flu aaahhh. All I want to do is sleep and tomorrow I have to work.
TBH all this bd’ing has made me a little sore so now it’s uncomfortable. Will be glad to have a few days off! and reckon so will dp… now I NEVER thought I’d say that.
We have already talked about the fact that should I be pregnant we will have a bd ban probably all the way through which may be tough. We can use other methods but I think it will be difficult anyway. Also even if the doc gives us the go ahead I really don’t think I would as I woulod be too scared.
mari