Not that I’m counting of course but as we entered 2016 I have been on my final countdown to 50 *gulp* and right now I’m on the very last stretch of being 49. As of the 29th April, I will be turning 50, a half a century and I find that thought quite daunting!
50 seems to have come around incredibly fast. Where have all those years gone? I swear it was only yesterday that we were celebrating my 40th. I have always associated 50 with being old and now I’m about to step into my very own version of 50 I don’t want to be ‘old’. Having always been a bit rebellious, I’m not going to do 50 as I ought to either.
Famous women turning 50
I decided way back to not be frightened by the number 50, to hit it straight on the head and to rock it but if the truth be known I am trembling in my boots a bit. Looking at others always calms my nerves a bit, if they can do it and look fabulous then there is hope for me. Sarah Jessica Parker, she has turned 50 and is looking very good. J.K Rowling born July 1965, wouldn’t I love to write a book half as good as hers? Brooke Shields – I still remember her for the Blue Lagoon film in the 80’s.
I turn 50 the same year as Halle Berry, Cindy Crawford, Helena Bonham Carter (who I LOVED in the recent Cinderella film) and Cynthia Nixon from Sex and the City. Guys include Gordon Ramsay and Mike Tyson – who I named our Rottweiler after.
Life at 30
I wasn’t at all afraid of 30, I embraced that stage with open arms. I had a fantastic party in Italy with my friends, I was living a happy life and had nothing to be afraid of. I felt ‘grown up’. My son Tommy was 8 and my daughter Megan was 6, they were out of the baby stage and we were able to go on nice holidays. We would ski together, go on day trips and have fun as a family. My 30’s were an era where I felt confident and secure in my decisions. I loved my children, I loved my life and even if I was aware that my marriage wasn’t the strongest around I was happy most of the time.
Life at 40
40 was also a number I embraced with open arms, having gone through a sad and bitter divorce in my late 30’s (proof you never know what is around the corner) I had met a new man and was the happiest I had ever been.
Again, we threw a party and invited friends and family, some of my closest friends travelled over from Italy. Some of my old school friends, who I hadn’t seen since I left St Johns, came along. It was a wonderful night and one I remember very clearly (I was pregnant!) My dad was there too. I really miss him, that was April 2006, he passed away in October 2007.
My 40’s represent a whole new chapter in my life. One where I tried once again for children. We weren’t successful at first and suffered a huge blow but we carried on and had the twins who are the light of our lives.
I have enjoyed being a mother again so much. I feel it is a very different experience having a man who loves me by my side and as interested in the parenting lark as much as me. This support has given me an incredible confidence and serenity to my life that wasn’t there in my first marriage. The twins have been an utter joy to bring up, they are gentle natured and very good girls. They make parenting so easy, it’s a joy to have them around.
I, myself, have taken a back seat during this decade dedicating my time and effort to the twins. I think it would be fair to say I’ve spent ten years with my hair piled on top of my head and held there with a clip. Make up has been used very occasionally for ‘going out’ and new clothes have consisted of jeans and boots (which are still my every day favourites).
Talking of clothes I do feel as if I failed on what to wear and what suits me a lot of times this past decade. I feel I have made more buying mistakes than ever. I have come home with clothes I love the look of but don’t feel right on me, so my 40’s have been a learning curve in this respect, only I’m not ready to dress like an old woman just yet. There’s still a huge part of me that wants to look nice, feel nice.
I lost my dad in my 40’s and I nearly lost my mum too as she battled cancer three times over the past five years. I am so grateful to medicine and doctors and brain surgeons for curing her and allowing her to stay with us. My 40’s have shown me how fragile life is and they have taught me to enjoy every moment, walk away from the bad stuff and focus your energy on the good.
I spent the majority of my 40’s at home looking after the girls and my biggest achievement has been building my blog and social channels. A project that started as a hobby and grew to become a ‘job’ of sorts. I am not the greatest blogger out there but I have enjoyed this learning process and have taken so much on board that I still remain surprised at the journey I have travelled, the wonderful bloggers and social media experts I have met and chatted to. The people I am still in contact with on a daily basis, those I meet at blogging events that are always a pleasure to embrace again. I count myself very lucky for having these people in my life. They have opened my eyes to an entire new world out there and in turn helped me reach the place I am at today, social media exec for James Villa Holidays. I LOVE this job. It is so perfect for me and I cannot express how much I am enjoying it. It doesn’t feel like work at all but a place where I can go and get creative and put my ideas to good use.
We’re not throwing a big party this time around. At the beginning of the year we decided to spend any ‘party’ money on a family holiday, somewhere we hadn’t been before. So we’re off to Lanzarote for May half term and I am very excited about it.
We’ve invested in a static caravan in Thanet where I imagine we’ll be spending many happy times. This does mean we’ll be saying goodbye to our caravan in the summer, one last holiday first though in Woolacombe where I’d like to have a go at Stand Up Paddle.
Work has been the largest recent change and I cannot wait to see where this journey takes me.
Oh and my Instagram feed which I love playing at and trying to get better at, here’s a selection of my March favourites.
If there is a fairy out there somewhere listening in on this conversation then the first thing I would wish for is good health. The second thing I would wish for is happiness and I’m pretty sure that will continue as it is something I actively seek out. I’ll save the third wish for later as who knows when I might need it?