13 Nov 2006 – 40 and positive

10DPO CD 26
Of course, by now I have managed to convince myself totally that I am pg and am desperately trying to stop myself but don’t stand a chance – I can be so convincing. No symptoms though – just pure thought. Hve felt a few twinges down there and does feel like I have an iron ball indside me. Have been visualising the egg resting on my cushion (mentioned earlier on in the month) and then burrowing into my uterus. Wonder if it’ll work???
DP did think my boobs were bigger over the weekend but I don’t think so.
I just seem to believe this is my month. I always imagined K and I would have our bumps tog, I could ‘see’ myself on the beach next summer, when I mc’d I ‘knew’ I’d get pg soon.
Yeah – I know it’s not a lot to go on so check this out..
Have been awake since 1.30 this morning thanks to a really bad and vivid dream, I saw my DD with her wrists slit, (she’s 16) blood everywhere and I managed to save her just in time. As you can imagine I was shocked and very disturbed and couldn’t get back to sleep.
I keep going over the dream – is it AF on her way (blood) am I just missing my DD and want her here with me (yes, but that’s a constant so why the dream?)I keep telling myself -at least I saved her but I just feel really shaken by the whole thing and can’t wait to get there on Friday to hold her and love her.
I have had dreams in the past which have come true – many and that’s what was scaring me last night, every time I closed my eyes I got the same image and just couldn’t sleep. I am going to be so rubbish at work today.
They do say vivid dreams are part of PG so you just never know.
Weekend was good, I am very proud to say that I walked around Bewl Water Reservoir with DP yesterday (13 miles) it took us 4 hours and my legs and back are killing me. There really isn’t a lot of water in there and it’s quite frightening. I think we should all do a little rain dance!
May have already added this photo of DD and me but today I need to more than ever.
xx

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