Trying to conceive and over 40: 23/10/06 (Babyworld diaries)

AF is on her way out today, I hope it’s the last I’ll see of her for 9 months, talking of which I signed up on the I’m for a July baby forum, you never know.

I have my brand new digital OPK to play with this month. I didn’t like the other kind as I didn’t feel the lines were very clear. I was always doubting and still feel that maybe I didn’t ovulate last month.
I’m feeling absolutely shattered this morning. We had a good weekend with a very lazy Sunday but still I don’t feel as if my batteries have been fully recharged.

I was feeling a bit down yesterday and this makes me miss my children even more. It’s very difficult being so far away and knowing that they’re living with the girl who broke up my marriage. I still have very bitter thoughts about her and I know they’re not doing me any good. I heard they’re all off to Mexico next week and that really grinds on my nerves as we were supposed to go in 1998 but had to cancel as my MIL was taken ill. It was my dream holiday that never happened so I’m cheesed off that he’s taking her.

Anyway, I am lucky as I have an adorable DP who I wouldn’t swap for all the gold in the world.
Back to TTC thoughts – I have always wondered about the importance of ‘coming together’ when trying to TTC. I read it somewhere that the female orgasm helps the blighters climb up a lot faster.
Must promise myself to try and stay calm about the whole thing and try not to get too obsessed but finding it increasingly difficult as it’s all I think about.
Fingers crossed and saying a prayer to anyone who’ll listen.

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